oh so much to say

We have not been posting. I am sorry. We have been going through so much and now feel ready to share with all of you. It all started because we were planning a secret attempt of getting pregnant. We were thinking we would inseminate in early December and we were so excited. Maybe naive. Definitely hopeful. We wanted this.

Instead, we go to see the RE and she sees a cyst that is really big and she thinks we can still go forward but wants to get it checked out, just in case. One week and tons of ultrasounds later (more then can be counted on a hand), we leave her office with the knowledge that maybe tomorrow (last Tuesday) we can start inseminating and being told "call back in the afternoon for your blood results and I just want to check with the oncologists." I call back and am told "this cycle is off, you have to get a CT and meet with the fancy dancy oncologists." F*ck. Now, everything is so scary. Cancer? Surgery? Can we still go to CO and VT for the holidays? Everything was up in the air for another week.

It turns out I have a cyst the size of a grapefruit between my bladder and my left ovary.

We went to the oncologist yesterday. Young, so nice, so smart oncologist says yes, surgery. No question about that. She does not think it is cancer. She really did not even focus on that - which i am taking as a good sign, although she will do tests once its out. I really liked the surgeon and the facility in general. So, no pregnancy to report here. Just a surgery happening on 12/28.

To say that H. and I have been praying and hoping that good good news comes to us is an understatement. The best thing about all of this is my wife. She has been amazing, I don't know what I would have done with out her. I feel that always, but this has just made me appreciate her so much. I feel like that sentence does no justice to how I have been feeling about her. What a perfect partner in life I have. (If you know me well, you know I am tearing up as I write this.) Family and the handful of friends who know about all of this have been wonderful too. We have been surrounded by a band of angels.

Still scared, still praying, still hopeful for good news here. We are mostly so happy to know the next step. I will be out of work for at least 3 weeks after the surgery (more if they have to do an incision) so there will be many more posts. Meanwhile we are so happy to be going to our families. We know good food, tons of laughter and family time with be restorative to us both. We need this next two weeks.

Here is our Christmas tree.

Here is Ellie doing a glamour shot

Hazel is loving sleeping under the tree. It is so so cute. I just might have to send this picture to here it is so cute. She also loves to "play" with the ornaments and she has discovered that she loves to eat popcorn-right off the tree of course. (You might have noticed the bottom of our tree looks a bit sparse.)

and here are Hazel and Sadie who have discovered that it is really not that bad to cuddle (all of Hazel's hard work and persistance in the persuit of snuggles is finally paying off!)


So if you pray, believe in cosmic energy, please send it out to me and H. in two weeks. I write this post ready for our band of angels to get a bit larger and with so much happiness that, while it seems this will be a process and likely a bit (or more) scary, at least it is not cancer. As H.'s Busia would say, "This too shall pass." If we don't post again soon, Happy Holidays everyone.
L.

Trees and garland for all!

We had such a good Thanksgiving feast yesterday. Wonderful family friends, really good gluten-free food for H., and tons of laughter and silly games. (Although our team still contends that "The US Guide to Greenhouse Gas Emissions of Sinks" is not a fair charades entry. Though we did rock it.) Yesterday it was so foggy and drippy and this morning it was bright and snowing. Perfect for picking out a Christmas tree!!!

(L.'s family traditional day after thanksgiving activity missing K.H. sadly because she had to go back to work in Boston.)

L.'s family found the "perfect tree" and staked their claim with the customary tacky garland so others would know this tree is spoken for and so the tree knows it is loved. While we where there, we decided to pick up a Vermont grown, fresh tree to take down to Brooklyn.

We will post some decorated tree pictures soon - Hopefully not to be destroyed by over excited kitties.

And now for something completely different

I just found this photoblog and am completely fascinated. It is called "Express Train" and the subject, as you may have guessed, is the NYC Subway system in all its glory. Here is the link and an example of what you will find there. http://www.travisruse.com/

Like I said before, the subway attracts and repels me all at once. Some of the photos are beautiful, some are ridiculous, and some just do a great job of showing what it is like to slog through the subway everyday. Hope you enjoy it!

Here we come!

Just wanted to share these photos we received from L's Mama. For those of you who may not yet be convinced that Vermont is spectacular, I submit these as evidence...



All this beauty + time with family + turkey = a lot to be thankful for

um..... too funny.

I love this. And I have to say that there are not enough raps about ol' vt and I support this one. H. sent to me, and it was the perfect thing to make me laugh out loud after a morning at court. Thanks for seeing it, sweetpea! If you want to see the article look at the article in the NY Times

Reasons to Celebrate

Today we went to the psychologist. She was a required step by our Reproductive Endocrinologist. Although at first we were put off by the fact that our parenthood had to be scrutinized, it was really good to go see her. We had a great conversation about all aspects of our conception and parenthood. Which is uncharted territory in our lives; however, not in the world for sure and we have been really enjoying reading ton's of lesbian mom blogs to see what others are doing (thank you to all of you out there - I have been lurking and gathering a ton of support from you all).

Of course we have have been talking about our future babies for a long time now. We know that H. will be called mom and me mama, we have talked about how we will talk about the donor to our children, and on and on we have talked. But it was really nice to talk to someone else about all this, and she seemed to think we were right on track.

Also, the best outcome of the meeting, was her questioning us about our families and our support networks. We always know we are lucky to have such a wonderful community, BUT....

We are so lucky. Really lucky. Really to the point of making me teary lucky.


Both of our families are excited about an up coming pregnancy. I returned to my office to get an email from one of my "besties" saying congrats on starting prenatal vitamins with the most xoxo's possible. We have a community to bring this not yet conceived baby into.

We were so happy we went to go have coffee and I thought of this place near our doctor, http://www.serendipity3.com/ , and we had coffee but we also shared the biggest sundae known to man. (Sometimes, it is really good to be a tourist in your own town.)After all we were celebrating our life, we have so much to be thankful for and so much to look forward to. We know we are going into stressful times, for sure, and we are so thankful to everyone who will be with us on this journey towards babyhood.

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

The little purchase for a BIG reason

We just wanted to let all of you know that today we purchased prenatal vitamins that L. will begin taking tomorrow. I can't believe it! So we are almost set to start trying to get pregnant. We are so excited for this new chapter and will keep you all updated as we go along.